I'll start this post with yesterday's outfit, and a warning. If you don't want to read a "deep" post about my life right now then please just close my blog and pretend it doesn't exist, because you will be bored or may be inspired to leave anonymous hate...and well, we don't want that ;)
We've had glorious weather here yesterday and today, like, the first proper hot days of the year. There was no doubt in my mind that it was a maxi dress day...the swishy breeze created when walking in one is the most amazing feeling and it was perfectly suited to lazing around in the garden.
And now on to the heavier side to this post;
This week I have finally admitted [mainly to myself] that I am not coping very well and things have been more of a struggle than ever.
I wish I could put in to words how exhausting it is to be in this state of limbo. Desperate for change but to weary and controlled to fight on my own anymore, and no clear idea of when a hospital bed will open up.
I sleep. A lot of the day. And when I am awake I am spending time with family and friends when I can, or just...restless, and not really able to concentrate, hence the lesser frequency of blog comments and posts.
It's going to be this way for a while, and I do feel bad because I miss blogging every day, and I miss commenting on everyone's posts.
I guess what I wanted to say was, to those of you who have stuck by me, left kind words in the form of comments and e-mails, THANK YOU, and I'm sorry I've not been able to respond to your kindness as much as you deserve.
I'd fully expect, and understand if you abandoned ship and stopped reading and following my blog completley, and I have been overwhelmed by the love and compassion shown.
I will still endevour to post and comment as often as I can, but if I can't, then please know you are ALL tresured (with a few anonymous exceptions) and all in my thoughts.
I can't wait to be on the other side of this hell and back to being ME. I have so many hopes and dreams for life
and directions I want to take this blog in, among other things. I'm not giving up, I'm just stepping back for a while.
Sorry, this blog has gone from outfit posts and random things to a blog about my illness which I never intended, but then, life doesn't always work the way it should. It'll be a thing of the past soon enough.
Have a wonderful weekend, make the most of the weather...and don't forget the suncream!
P.S. I so caved in and ordered the Essie polish from my last post!
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